You Should Meet My Other Giant Friend
At least her new place is on the first floor.
Crouching low, Dana slips her lean frame through the doorway, dropping to her knees and sending a gentle rumble through the room. Her entrance briefly draws the attention of all dozen or so guests gathered in the spacious luxury apartment, until the abrupt silence prompts them to quickly resume conversing. While impressed with the other guests’ ability to ignore the fourteen-foot-tall black woman crouching in the corner, for a dreadful moment Dana wonders if she’s arrived at the wrong party.
Fortunately, a familiar labradoodle trots into the room, with Leslie following close behind, wrapped in a form-fitting red cocktail dress. The dog jumps into Dana’s arms, and she cradles it like a puppy as it licks her chin. "Hello, Cooper! Glad at least someone’s happy to see me."
"What a pleasant surprise!" Leslie announces, hugging Dana’s leg. "I thought you said you couldn't make it."
"My pedicure got canceled, so I had a few extra hours on my hands."
"Well, it's great you're here."
Leslie gasps in exaggerated offense. "Because you’re my friend. Because you wanted to show me how you’ve finally embraced wearing bare shoulders—love that shirt, by the way. Because I want you here celebrating my exciting step into adult independence."
"Uh huh. And?"
"Okay!" Leslie huffs. "So, I wanted you to meet my friend Monique from work."
Dana sighs. "There it is."
"She’s new in town, and I thought you two would get along. I bet you two have a lot in common."
"Let me guess, she’s the other black person in Kellsburg?"
"Don’t be like that. But, yes, she’s black…ish, I think. I’m not sure. You can ask her. Here, let me take your coat." Dana hands her denim jacket to Leslie, who holds it up with both hands. "I’m going to put it in the guest room. The bed in there could use an ironic 90s-inspired comforter."
"I like how you just assume I won’t one day grow big enough to stomp you."
A guest nearby gasps, but Leslie only laughs, smacking Dana on the knee. "You’ve been saying that since grade school. I say bring it, Bigfoot." Leslie snaps her fingers, and Cooper jumps down from Dana’s arms. "I’ll tell Monique you’re here. Help yourself to some food, and watch out for the ceiling fan."
"Thanks, but this isn’t my first rodeo." Leslie and Cooper head to the guest room as Dana crawls toward the hors d'oeuvres. Arriving at the table, she groans at the meager spread of cucumber sandwiches, steak bites, assorted fruits, cheese, and several desserts. Filling her plate with cheese and the few remaining steak bites, she looks around for somewhere to sit before again settling on the ground and retreating into the safety of her mobile.
"Are you Dana?"
Dana looks up and is surprised to see another black woman smiling down at her. She’s dressed casually, wearing a long-sleeved sweatshirt and black leggings, standing hunched over with her shoulder blades pressed against the ceiling. "I assume you’re Monique?"
Monique nods and points to two Lay-Z-Boys nearby. "Have a seat?"
"I'll let you go first," Dana says, looking skeptically at the chairs barely taller than her knees.
Monique obliges, settling into the chair, the arms gripping her hips snugly. Following suit, Dana folds herself into the chair, her bent knees nearly reaching her collarbone. "Thanks for leading the way. Even after ten years in this town, I'm still not used to almost always being the only giant girl everywhere I go."
"You and Leslie are both from Northshore, right?"
"Yeah, then we were roommates at Northshore U."
"I’m sure you have stories. I’ve literally only known her a week. I was surprised she invited me."
Dana rolls her eyes. "Leslie’s just excited to have another giantess friend. She's told me she feels guilty because she doesn’t have many friends of different sizes."
"You’re not gonna tell me she didn’t meet any giant people in her four years in college?"
"Maybe if we’d gone to Northshore State. Most of the giants at NU were recruited for sports. It was so bad Leslie once asked me if I could introduce her to a giant guy in her marketing class, because she assumed I knew him."
"Because, of course, all giant people know each other," Monique drawls.
"It turns out she’d actually confused him for a completely different giant guy that I did know from the volleyball team."
Monique laughed. "Well, I’m sure Leslie is thrilled to have two giant friends now."
"I guess, but she really wants to meet more giant guys. She used to tell me it was her dream to date a giant guy." Dana looks around before leaning in and whispering, "she’s kind of a size queen."
Monique snickers. "Well, college was kind of her chance. There really aren’t a lot of giant people out here in Kellsburg."
"Oh, I know. I once went on a date with a guy from here who was obsessed with giant girls. I could tell he was disappointed when I showed up and wasn’t as tall as he wanted me to be."
"Now, that’s a mess."
"Oh, it got worse. Instead of normal conversation, he started right off with 'so how did you get so tall?'"
"And you’re like, ‘I grew?’"
"To which he replies—"
"But how did you get like, tall tall?" They both laugh again, drawing a few looks from nearby guests. Monique frowns at both her empty plate and the dwindling snack spread. "So, hey, I don’t suppose you want to get out of here? Maybe head somewhere where the sandwiches are made of bread?"
Dana nods in agreement. "Please! Is it just me, or do short people parties never have enough food?"
"I think Leslie’s in the kitchen. I can let her know we’re headed out."
"Cool, I gotta grab my jacket. I’ll meet you by the door."
Dana and Monique both stand up.
"Ow!!!" the two shout in unison, rubbing their heads as plaster rains down on them from above. Dana looks up at the partially dislodged ceiling fan, then around at the other guests gaping in shock. "Time to go," she whispers. "Looks like the two giant girls are making a scene."
"Are you guys okay?" Leslie shouts, running into the room, Cooper barking behind her.
"We're good!" Monique says. "We’re just about to go out to grab dinner."
"That's great!" Leslie says, darting to the guest room and returning with Dana’s jacket. "You two go have fun!"
"Are you sure?" Dana asks. "I feel kind of bad about your fan."
"Oh, don’t worry about that. My boyfriend can fix it. Right, Denmo?" She points to the African man ducking out of the bathroom. He waves to the group before crouching into the kitchen to retrieve a broom. Dana and Monique look at each other, eyebrows raised, while Leslie only grins. "He’s a dream! Handsome, polite, good cook, and hung like a Stallion."
Dana gasps. "Leslie!"
"What? He’s ten feet tall!"
Published August 1, 2020