TGGG: Your Goddess Goes to College

Anxiety, excitement, fear, sadness, loneliness, apprehension, ambition. I ride the tide of emotions gathered in this space, not dwelling on any one in particular but rather relishing them all. Many seem familiar, and they resonate with the sentiments present in my own heart—in different proportions, of course. Many dream of home, while others dream of their future aspirations. A few immerse themselves in love and even lust, but most are simply whirling balls subconscious energy. Moving from one mind to another, the honesty and presence of their emotions help put my own feelings in perspective. I finally come to grips with myself as I transition from the non-corporeal expanse of the dream realm—

—to the 256 square feet that is my college dorm room.

Silencing my phone alarm I rub my eyes, doing my best to acclimate to the jarring shift to waking life. It's my second week of classes, and already I feel the routine setting in. In my emerald green silk bathrobe custom-embroidered with the triforce symbol (very expensive, totally worth it), I pad down the hallway to the shower. With a little magical assistance, the water cleanses my body in seconds and turning off the shower I will my body dry in an instant. Returning to my room, my closet opens a portal to the walk-in closet in my home nearly 2,500 miles away, and I select a long pleated green dress to wear with my throwback Converse All-Stars. With a toss of my head, my hair dries and detangles and falls behind me. In five minutes flat, I'm ready for my day.

I am a wealthy, beautiful, amazonian goddess with the power to warp time, space, and reality...and I'm also a freshman at Northshore University.

I live in a single room in Warwick, a new residence hall on the south end of campus, primarily aimed at upperclassmen. It would be easy to say I chose it because it's shiny and new (and I could afford it), but the location actually sold me more than anything. Warwick was built on some open land near the outdoor Greek theater. It's no Theatre of Stratos, but it takes me back nonetheless. 

I'm not sure what possessed me to move cross country to Northshore University, thousands of miles away from my friends and family. I think I wanted a fresh start in a new area where I could disappear among the 19,000-member student body. Even standing 6'4" and growing throughout the day, I somehow blend in among the sea of heads and faces. Only those who knew me before my transition to Goddess-hood notice the peculiarity of having a size-changing being in their midst. Even so, it feels like I blend more here than I ever did in my hometown. It's almost as if the people of this city are used to giant women walking around.

I don't know the layout of the campus very well yet (a must before I start teleporting), but it's a nice day and well worth the extra time to walk. The cool Fall weather has a touch of humidity, making for a comfortable stroll in my thin dress and leggings. As I reach the academic side of campus a couple guys passing by take a long gander at my legs. I allow myself to stretch taller to 6'8", raising the hem of my dress and giving them a little more to look at. This is not entirely for their benefit, mind you, since I've found growing brings me more in tune with my Goddess essence, generally a more conducive state for staying focused in class and not thinking about Overwatch. It also just plain feels good to grow.

My only class today is Early American History. I'm a history major: shocker, I know. The subject actually feels more like sociology does to most people, given my several lifetimes of experience spanning the full length of human history. What I had not expected was the challenge of thinking critically about the lives I lived, framing the things I've seen in a broader social and historical context. I'm hoping I'll start to see patterns, perhaps find some common ground—or maybe I won't. Either way, it's exciting to know there's more to learn. 

Eighty minutes later I leave class with my head swimming in new facts and information, and my body stretches taller almost subconsciously as I mull it all over. Of my several past lives, none of them involved the Western Hemisphere, and we'd covered the events leading to the early American colonies, as well their short and long-term implications. I'm reminded of my own presence with past civilizations where I served as their Goddess. I'd never considered the effects of my actions until I learned of the way my friend Sara had been unwillingly thrown into demi-Goddesshood with my sudden departure. How many other lives and civilizations had I affected? It's so much to consider I'm practically my own world.

...until a frisbee smacks me in the head.

"Geez! I'm so sorry!" 

A guy wearing a backward baseball cap, tank top, and board shorts jogs towards me. The hit was unintentional, and upon realizing he's struck a busty, leggy brunette, he looks as guilty as a kid who spilled his own milkshake. I clumsily toss it back to him and he catches it without breaking eye contact with me. I'm not particularly irritated, but I can already tell he's far from my type. As he approaches, I inch my height up to 6'11", effectively towering above him by the time he reaches me. Already intimidated by my looks, my imposing height has him almost ready to retreat, but he impressively holds his ground.

"You—you're really beautiful."

"Thank you," I say, watching him visibly struggle to unify the towering attractive young woman with the converse shoes, Master Sword earrings, and Tardis purse. I hold up Pokémon Go! on my phone (gotta' hatch those eggs!) to make him more uncomfortable.

"Is there a PokeStop near your dorm too?"

He has no idea, and I don't need to read his mind to figure that out. "Um...I don't actually play."

"You should," I say, as I walk away from him. "I caught a Chancey here this morning. See ya'!" 

He and his buddies eyes absolutely devour my form as I walk away. I allow myself a telepathic glimpse of my profile from their perspective and the onslaught to my senses is almost overwhelming. They're enchanted by my body, as well as the dichotomy between my knockout figure and my overt nerdism. Yeah, guys. Geeks can be hot too.

Nostalgia creeps up on me, and I'm suddenly thinking of Davis, who I haven't seen since I left for school. He loves his hometown and has no intentions of leaving after graduation. As much as I love him there's no way I could stay, particularly with all I've learned about myself in the last few years. My transition from rich, awkward, plain-jane geek to all-powerful, gorgeous, semi-awkward, still-geeky Goddess hasn't exactly been the smoothest, and he's been amazingly patient. In the end, however, we both needed time fully become ourselves, and I know he'll always be there waiting for me.

"Megan! Food!

Thalia waves at me from an outdoor table in the cafe. She's cute Egyptian girl from Los Angeles who comes from old money, much like my family. Living two doors down from me in Warwick, she was one of the first people I met when I moved in. Everyone's eyes are on me as I approach, and she breaks the ice by introducing me to the group.

"This is Megan," Thalia announces proudly. "She's awesome, and you should totally get to know her."

"Aw thanks, Thalia, though you're only saying that because I let you borrow my PSP."

"There are other reasons too! You also have cable." She playfully sticks her tongue out at me before returning to conversing with her companions. Her friends are all art majors, and their conversation is mostly art focused, as they chatter about their hippie teacher, the poor ventilation of the studio, and the foul-mouthed TA with more tattoos and piercings than anyone could (or cared to) count. I snack on some mozzarella sticks, listening with half an ear as I let my body incrementally inch taller by the minute. Inevitably, Thalia shifts the conversation to me.

"Speaking of extreme bodies, how tall are you, Megan?"

I laugh and let my body swell larger, quietly savoring the sublime feeling of the fabric rubbing against my skin as I grow. "Oh, I don't even measure anymore. It's not worth it."

"You look bigger than ever today, girl."

"It's not my fault you're hobbit-sized." I halt my growth at 7'8". As always, no one notices anything out of the ordinary. "Anyways, it's been fun, but I gotta'—"

"Hit the library," Thalia finishes. "I know. You go there every frickin' day."

"You should check it out sometime." I stand and toss my bag over my shoulder. "It's got to beat that muggy art studio. I'll see you all later." The table waves at me as I easily step over the gate enclosing the dining area, ducking at the last moment to miss the hanging awning. She's correct, my next stop is the library where I finish almost every day. Giddy with anticipation, my body stretches past eight feet tall, raising the cut of my dress to mid-thigh—I'll have to make my clothes grow with me from here on out.

Even at nearly nine feet tall, standing on the steps in front of the extraordinary Mary Jane Hayes Memorial Library makes me feel like Cloud standing in before of Shinra Headquarters, except I have no intention of blowing the place up. In fact, the top selling point of NU for me was the library. In addition to it's multitudinous rare & historical texts and voluminous pop culture & comics collection, the five-story edifice includes a massive open foyer in the middle where I can comfortably grow. Crouching down, I enter the library, and already I can barely contain myself. As I sit down in the foyer, the smell of the old books triggers nostalgia for my former lives, opening the floodgates. My body blossoms upward, consuming the open space all around me. I count each level as my eyes reach and surpass each floor. I halt my growth as my eyes reach the fifth level, stopping at a staggering sixty feet tall.

Now it's time to read.

Back when my Goddess form re-awakened, after the initial honeymoon of playing with teleportation, size changing, and matter modification, I faced the jarring reality of Goddesshood: what would I do with my power, and what was my purpose? It did not take long for me to realize that in all my near-omnipotence I had still had plenty to learn. Sure, I could instantly absorb the contents of every book in the library, but it would be as useful as trying to develop language fluency by memorizing a dictionary. There are simply no shortcuts to knowledge and wisdom, and even with all the experience of my past lives, I'd barely scratched the surface of exploring all the world and the universe had to offer. Even Jadzia Dax, with all the knowledge of her symbiont's seven previous hosts, was still only a Lieutenant Commander.

With a schedule lightened by my testing out of my foreign language requirement (my previous lives' were helpful for some things), I'm able to spend hours a day here. Students move about below and around me, paying no mind to the sixty-foot giantess burying herself in books levitating in front of her face. I've already finished the first of the required texts for Early American History, and I've moved on to the optional reading, as well as another book by the same author about the British colonization of what would eventually become Canada. I also take a little time to peruse a text examining the lives of early humans in the regions of northern Africa. Yes, I was there, but it's fun to see what historians got right and what they got wrong (conclusion: they're mostly on the right track, but still have yet to make a few key connections).

Like every day I remain in the library until just before midnight closing. At that point, hours of voracious reading and amassing new knowledge has my inner Goddess nearly clawing burst free. I telekinetically re-shelve the books and teleport to the Greek theater adjacent to my dorm. In the open air of the concrete arena, I allow my full Goddess form to emerge. My body erupts with growth, raising me to my full Goddess form in all its 360-foot luminescent glory. At this size, I can see the entire campus, as well as most of the city. Yet even with all my power, I have so much to learn and that fact is as nearly as thrilling as standing dozens of stories tall, gazing out across the illuminated city on this breezy Fall evening. I think I'll stay out a little later tonight, before turning in for my nightly three hours of No Man's Sky.

Not having to sleep certainly has its advantages.

Originally published September 24, 2016

Megan is a character from The Growing Gentle Giantess series by Detective Barricade